Belly Slam

It’s been about two weeks since I posted on the subject of cleansing.
I can explain.
I swear.

So, I started to get kind of ill just sticking to the crazy sexy diet and I realized that out of the three main sources of protein, soy, nuts, beans, that the soy and beans were hurting my guts. I also, didn’t have a lot of time to make a lot of nut patties or dips. After reading the crazy sexy diet book I felt like Kris Carr wasn’t trying to fit me into a one-size fits all diet plan. I have a very sensitive digestive system and it lets me know pretty quickly if something isn’t working for me.

So, after a few bad digestion days I decided it was time to take what I’ve learned and apply it to my lifestyle. I will still have a green juice or green smoothie every morning after I have some lemon or apple cider vinegar water. I will still eat tons of raw greens, salads and veggie soups. I will add a small amount of animal protein like chicken, fish, eggs and yogurt. However, I will try my best to balance them out with alkaline foods.

Sample Day

Green Smoothie: 1/2 avocado, 1 banana, 2 handfuls of spinach, 1 cup almond milk & ice

1 boiled egg and spinach or arugula salad

large salad with palm size piece of chicken or fish

1 cup veggie soup & small salad OR 1/2 cup of full fat greek yogurt with 1/2 sliced cucumber

large salad & veggie soup OR steamed veggies, side salad and palm size piece of chicken or fish

1 large cucumber

1/2 bulb of fennel

5 romaine leaves

1 apple

1-2 inch piece of ginger

4 stalks of celery

*crumple the lettuce into a ball and push through the juicer with an apple or cucumber to get best juicing results with leafy greens.

So… I didn’t post Wednesday. I have a variety of reasons but here are the top two:

1. I’ve had something brewing in my chest since Monday. It’s had me feeling a bit under the weather.

2. The grocery store is crazy after work/I was busy and didn’t have time to restock my produce. This meant no juicing or new recipes.

I’ve found that soy, not soy sauce, makes me really gassy and uncomfortable. This will only make the cleanse harder seeing how beans, nuts and tofu are your biggest protein sources. Also, I have come to the realization that I may need to modify this diet to my specific needs. I work a desk job and I’m weird about packing fresh juices to take with me. This means I only get one juice in the morning. I’ve decided to break the day up into 5 small meals to ensure that I’m not torturing my self. This will be easier on me the days that I work. Here is an example of what I’ll do today.

7:30 am: green juice

10:30 am: 1 bartlett pear & a small side salad (leafy greens, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, sliced almonds, green pea sprouts and ginger dressing)

1:30 pm: 1 cup brown rice & 1 cups of black beans with salsa

4:30 pm: raw veggie salad (sliced cucumbers, shredded carrots and shredded bell peppers) with tahini dressing (tahini, lemon juice, garlic, water, salt and pepper)

7:30 pm: homemade black bean burger & guacamole over salad (I’ll post a recipe tomorrow)

This way I’ll be able to make most of this stuff quickly at home and bring it with me so I don’t slip up.

I made these last night so I could snack on them today. So, that being said two zucchini and 14 hours later I have sandwich bag full of these guys. The recipe, which I will post, calls for olive oil. I had just run out of olive oil and had a, what would Kris Carr do moment. I thought well of course Kris would use coconut oil. After dumping all my spices and lemon juice into the bowl I throw in the coconut oil and hilarity/disaster ensues. The spices all stick to the coconut oil. So now I have these oily balls with spices all over them and raw spice less zucchini. I spend about twenty minutes trying to coat the zucchini with the coconut oil and spice balls. When I finish, get all the zucchini on the trays, clean up my mess and start the dehydrator, I realize what Kris Carr would have done… went and bought some damn olive oil.

This morning when I woke up and tasted my little zucchini coins I thought they tasted pretty good. However, they would have tasted WAY better with olive oil. Way to go Ansley. I used a dehydrator but you could probably do this in your oven on the lowest setting.

Recipe (can’t remember the source):

Raw Spicy Zucchini Chips
- 2 to 3 zucchini
- 4 tbsp lemon juice
- 2 1/2 tbsp olive oil
- 1/2 tsp paprika
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/4 tsp cayenne
- 2 1/2 tsp onion powder
- 2 1/2 tsp garlic powder
- 1/2 tsp basil
- 1/2 tsp oregano

- Mix marinade and toss with zucchini
- Dehydrate for 14 - 20 hours

So the first day was a bit rocky I didn’t eat nearly as many raw salads as I should have and I was so hungry when I got home I ate ton of corn chips. Just a refresher Santitas corn chips are not on the crazy sexy diet. I didn’t let this discourage me I wiped my hands off on my work pants, put the chips away and got back on the alkaline wagon. Here is what I ate yesterday. I didn’t follow the plan to the letter but it is only the first day. I’ve got 20 more to get it right.

Breakfast:
- Green Juice (duh)
- green tea, lemon juice and cayenne
- two raw chunks of energy (bulk dept. Rosewood Market)
Snack: (10:30 - I can’t really juice at work so at this point I want to eat that coconut cake in the break room)
- small bowl of gluten free/vegan mac n cheese (recipe posted yesterday)
Lunch:
- rice noodle soup w/ tofu
- 2 raw salad rolls: avocado, carrots, cucumber and lettuce rolled up in spring roll wrappers (Got these at publix in the sushi section. I think they are awesome and they make them fresh)
Snack:
- small bowl of gluten free/vegan mac n cheese
Dinner:
- 30 + corn chips with hummus and salsa (I KNOW! IT’S BAD!)
- steamed sugar snap peas
- vegan curry spinach soup

Unwanted side effect of detox: you some how wake up and Maroon 5 is playing in your head :(

Green Juice:
2 carrots the length of small swords
1/2 bulb fennel (the rest of the bulb from yesterday)
2 handfuls of spinach
1 apple
1 large cucumber

This is Ansley here, reporting from her “god pod”.

Today is the first day of my crazy sexy diet cleanse. I started prepping for this diet last week. Despite the fact that I had some drinks here and there and a shrimp taco on Saturday I stayed fairly true to the guidelines. What are the guidelines you ask? Well, without having to pull out the book and quote it, which I feel like I might be able to do at this point, I would say the diet is a vegan/raw diet. You don’t go completely raw. This is good because if you are used to eating tacos and Thai food on a regular basis this might make you want to kill someone. I would say the diet it about 70% raw. You get up every morning have your cayenne/lemon juice/hot water drink and then … dick around until you have your green juice for breakfast? I am not sure what Kris Carr does after she has her lemon drink or what time she gets up in the morning, but I get up 30 minutes before I have to be at the office so I skip the the morning lemon drink and relaxation and get my juice on. Then she says it’s best to only drink juice until NOON. However, if you are about to eat some coconut cake from the break room because you are so hungry, she says you can have a little breakfast which is something like an apple or some sexy seed cakes. Once you have some how managed to make it to 12 without getting fired or destroying your akalinity it is now time for lunch. Lunch consists of a really large raw salad with some soup or quinoa pilaf on the side. Snack? You guessed it green juice or a small handful of raw almonds. Dinner pretty much looks like lunch, large raw dish with a smaller cooked side like soup or an olive quesadilla.

In conclusion the crazy sexy diet is not that difficult and my biggest challenge will be trying to not get bored and wash a bottle of wine down with a medium cheese pizza. Here is a list of things this diet will not do:
1. Make you rich, it might actually make you a little poorer
2. Call your boss and explain you are stuck on the toilet because you are on a journey to personal greatness
3. Give you crazy sexy muscles. You will have to do that on your own when you aren’t cleaning your juicer
4. Make you popular with your bar buddies. Tell them you have hepatitis. It might be an easier explanation.
5. Last but not least. So far this book has not made me like Kris Carr. It’s only made me wonder… what the hell does she do all day!

Here is a link to her blog: www.crazysexylife.com

I’m prepping for my 21 day cleanse that is next week. It’s a vegan mostly raw diet supplemented with juicing. I’m trying to get pumped but all I can think about is cheese pizza. I am going to post everyday about the cleanse and tell you how I’m doing.